Who's in your corner?
Nurturing your relationships is the most overlooked part of healthy aging.
I’ve spent this week in Anchorage, Alaska, sharing about stress management and my Real STRength framework with customer service, credit, and collections members of the Northwest Public Power Association. It has been a long time since I’ve been with a finer group of human-oriented humans.
They have incredibly difficult work, often interacting with their public utility customers in their worst times: death of a loved one, job loss, and other financial hardships. Story after story, I heard about these people going the extra 10 miles to connect their customers with resources and help them manage their situation. Many of them serve in small, rural communities and have built up such strong relationships of trust that they become a lifeline for people in other circumstances, too, when they don’t know where else to turn. Their members simply know that Shirley or Kevin at the co-op will help, because they always have.
When I talk about the “Relate” dimension of “Real STRength” in conferences, I often focus on the “why” of the work. I help people get to the true driving factor beyond what they do for a living: who they are serving and why it matters. This awareness becomes a commitment which helps sustain them in challenges, uncertainty, and upheaval. If you remember why you do what you do, you’ll find the energy and strength to keep doing it.
Well, there was no shortage of 'why' in this group. They know exactly who they are doing this for.
So I switched it up at the end of the session. They are already there for everyone else, so I asked them: Who is in YOUR corner? Who do you go to when you need support? How can younurture that relationship?
Since 1938, Harvard’s Study of Adult Human Development has studied what makes us healthy and happy. The ongoing research has found that close, supportive relationships are better predictors of health and happiness than class, IQ, or even genetics. Dr. Robert Waldinger, the current director of the study, has said that “the surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health” (Harvard Gazette). He shares how good relationships protect our bodies and our brains.
Put simply, the key to healthy aging is your relationships.
If you’ve been on the productivity, accomplishment, and survival treadmill for a while, as we often are in our working years, it is not too late to start working on this.
Where to start? Here are three steps to begin this week.
1. Name someone. Identify someone with whom you seek a deeper relationship.
2. Nurture it. Commit to one thing you will do to nurture that relationship. It can start as simple as reaching out to say hello or asking someone to go on a walk.
3. Just do it. Don’t wait for the perfect time or when you’re less busy. That won’t happen.
At the conference, I witnessed the participants develop new and deepen existing relationships. Old friends reconnected and new friends bonded. I even experienced that myself. This is really what life is about. Knowing that it’ll make us healthier as we age is an added bonus.
Build the life you are working for.
~ Sarah
P.S. This week I released my new podcast, Real STRength with Sarah Draper (Real STRength | Linktree). It’s about stories and tools for resilience, performance, joy and meaning. I’d love for you to give it a listen, then follow and share it with others. That would be a great way for you to deepen your relationship with someone.
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