Two out of Three Ain't Bad
I was a Yearling (sophomore) at West Point, standing in an engineering class while my professor reviewed problems we had written on the whiteboards. West Point used something called the Thayer Method: you got the content ahead of class, studied it independently, and arrived with a basic understanding. It was self-directed learning, building problem-solving and critical thinking from the ground up, important in both academics and leadership. You were responsible for your preparation.
It was effective. And it was hard, especially in subjects where you had little background.
As the professor reviewed a classmate's work that day, he dryly remarked: "Just like that old song. Two out of three ain't bad."
“That's Meatloaf!” I thought. I looked around for a flicker of recognition on anyone else's faces and saw none, so I kept my enthusiasm mostly contained.
I realized two things that day. First, West Point professors could be funny. Second, two out of three was not the end of the world.
For a recovering perfectionist, that second one was significant. In an academic setting, two out of three is 66.7%. A “D.” Not something you write home about. But what that letter grade does not account for is what went into the learning and what came out of it. We are not talking about mastery. We are not even talking about comfort. We are talking about growth.
If you’re someone who sets goals and then punishes yourself for anything less than complete, you’re not alone. Most high achievers have a version of this. The standard is 100%, and anything short of it gets filed under “failure” rather than “progress.” The problem with that accounting is that it ignores almost everything that actually matters.
Growth does not begin at completion. It begins the moment you reach beyond what you already know how to do, when you try something outside your current capability and stay in it anyway.
Early this June, I took a Future Walk and set three goals for the quarter.
Start this newsletter.
Complete my triennial NBC-HWC recertification CEUs.
Finish my transformational breathwork certification
I started the newsletter right away. I planned my remaining CEUs and followed my schedule to complete them. I got 98% of my breathwork certification done, with only my final group practice remaining. Then a couple of unexpected things diverted my attention and energy, and here I am at the end of the quarter: two out of three.
By the letter-grade standard, that’s a D.
But here’s what I actually got. I have been writing and publishing consistently for the first time in my professional life and growing in confidence about sharing ideas. My CEUs introduced me to HeartMath®, deepened my skills in Motivational Interviewing, trained me in coaching for weight loss, the gut microbiome, culinary medicine, coaching big emotions, and more. And with the breathwork certification, I learned something I could not have learned any other way: how not to describe a group practice if you want people to show up for it.
Two out of three. And I count all of it.
There are very few things in life that actually require perfection. I expect my surgeon to be perfect. I appreciate it when my dental hygienist is perfect. And if you are only an hour away from a total solar eclipse, make the drive. 99.4% is not totality.
The rest? Your effort counts. What you learn as you go counts. Research on goal pursuit suggests that people who treat unfinished goals as data rather than failure tend to maintain higher motivation, set better goals the next time, and build more durable habits over time. Completion is one outcome. Growth is another. You do not have to choose between them, but you do have to decide which one you’re measuring.
If you’re a goal setter who struggles to give yourself credit for anything less than 100%, here are three things to do this week:
1. Score your effort, not just your outcome.Before you close out any goal, write down what you did, what you learned, and what you would do differently. That reflection is more valuable than the checkmark. A goal you did not finish taught you something a completed one did not.
2. Ask what the miss reveals.An incomplete goal is information. Did something unexpected get in the way? Did the goal turn out to be the wrong one? Did you learn that the final step needs a different design? Answer the question before you reset the goal. The answer usually reveals the next step.
3. Set your next goal from what you now know, not from what you planned.Most people reset a missed goal the same way they set it the first time. That’s how you end up in the same place next quarter. Use what you learned to design a better version, smaller, better timed, or better supported. That’s not lowering the bar. It’s building on evidence. Think of it as trial and learn.
Two out of three is not failure prettied up in polite language. It is an honest accounting of what growth actually looks like when you are doing hard things for the first time. The professor at West Point was not lowering the standard. He recognized that the work in front of us was hard, and that hard work does not always resolve cleanly.
This applies to the people you lead as well. They may be doing something difficult for the first time too. If the only progress that gets recognized is completion or excellence, they may stop taking the risks that lead to growth. What you notice directly impacts what they attempt. Make room for less than perfect, especially when you model it yourself, and you make room for growth.
Two out of three ain't bad.
Build the life you are working for.
~ Sarah
P.S. I’m taking a Future Walk this afternoon to set goals for the next three months. Outside, no phone, thinking about what my upcoming priorities are. If the idea of a Future Walk sounds useful, I use it at the start of every quarter to set goals from a clear head rather than a busy one. Reply and I will tell you how it works.
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