Never Forget … And Always Remember

A Kosovo traffic jam. And gratitude. I was escorting a National Geographic film crew for a day. I’m not sure if this scene made the final cut, but the crew was as uplifted by our reception as were we.

I was checking on some soldiers who were manning a checkpoint at JRTC (Joint Readiness Training Center) in Fort Polk, LA. We were there to do our final pre-deployment validation before we deployed to Kosovo the following month. The soldiers had been preparing for this deployment for a long time, and there was real pride in what we were about to do.

Standing by the team at the checkpoint, I heard a voice on the radio in my HMMWV calling for me. My ops sergeant, in an unquestionable effort to keep emotion out of his voice, asked me to return to the CP. He didn’t have to say it was urgent.

In complete uncertainty, I spent the next 45 minutes worrying that a soldier or family member had an emergency, the anxiety building in me during the long drive back.

Walking into the CP, he told me about the attacks on the Twin Towers and Pentagon.     

Everything changed that day. For all of us.

A month later, we were in our final deployment preparation, sending people out on block leave before we left. The soldiers’ pride in our upcoming deployment was largely replaced with a feeling like we were deserting our own country when we were most needed. Other companies in our battalion were now being mobilized to provide security at the Pentagon. That was where we should be deploying, many said, and understandably.

Lesson 1: You don’t always pick your mission.

It’s difficult to understand this when things feel unfair or uncertain or you see that your talents could be used in a better way.

Still, you do what is asked of you. And you do it to the best of your ability. We rarely have the benefit of seeing the full picture until we’re well into something or it’s completely in the rear-view mirror. Even then, meaning making only comes from intentional reflection. (Like this one, 25 years later.)

We said our farewells and a few days later arrived in Kosovo. Any doubts that we were supposed to be there were erased during those first few days when every time we left the camp, our patrols were greeted by the locals racing out to see us to wave their homemade American flags for us. They scraped together resources to make these flags for us. These people didn’t have stable infrastructure, food supply, or trash collection. But they found ways to make American flags – often posterboard size – and waited to see us coming up the road then raced out to share their support for us.

Lesson 2: Hardship helps you see the gifts of others.

No longer were we just the protectors and they just the protected. We were all humans who were going through something awful, and we were showing up for each other.

Less than two years later, I was at the FBI Academy, beginning my New Agent training. Joining the FBI was a natural extension of my service and, quite frankly, a logical one, as my husband Rod had joined the FBI a year earlier and the Army was about to station me on a different continent.

On the first day of class, we stood up one-by-one and shared our background. I was one of a few with the more “traditional” background of military and law enforcement. I was blown away by the rest. 30-something year-old professionals – healthcare, law, finance - who had left lucrative and promising careers to become FBI Agents, largely inspired by 9/11 and their desire to serve something greater than themselves. The process to apply to the FBI is a long one, often well over a year, so these were not spur-of-the-moment decisions. People were inspired, felt a calling, and took step after step to make it happen.

Lesson 3: We all have an opportunity to serve others.

No, you don’t have to leave your career and go join the FBI. You can create just as important and meaningful opportunities by doing something in your own community. Drive for Meals on Wheels. Volunteer at a local assisted living facility. Show up at your neighborhood association meeting to learn what’s going on. Pick up trash along the local riverbank or help with trail maintenance on your favorite hiking trail.

We naturally want to engage in behaviors that benefit others, often without personal gain, because this is part of the nature of being human. But it still feels good, and that’s okay to appreciate. In fact, if you savor that good feeling, you’ll be more likely to do it again.

That's how we can create a virtuous cycle of service.

September 11, 2001, was a horrible day, time, and experience for all of us. Especially for the 2,977 people who died in the attacks that day and their families, including 2 FBI; the nearly 10,000 people who have since died from 9/11-related illnesses, including 33 FBI. And the thousands of military service members who died in the GWOT, along with their families.

What do you do with a day like this?

We say Never Forget and we never should. We need to keep honoring those lost and those still fighting their illnesses and grieving their losses.

I think a way to do this is Always Remember. I knew some of the FBI agents and Army soldiers who chose to serve, didn’t pick their missions, went where they were needed, saw the good in others, and ultimately gave their lives. Honoring them is what Always Remember means to me.

1. You don’t always pick your mission.

You’re still needed. Do the best you can where you are called.

2. Hardship helps you see the gifts of others.

You’re not alone. Just as you are there for someone else, let them be there for you.

3. You have an opportunity to serve others.

Find a way to give to something or someone outside of you. Our communities are made when we step up for each other.  

Never Forget … Always Remember.

Build the life you are working for.

~ Sarah